A Troubled Minerva
by Miss Red Tartan
Summary: A troubled Minerva breaks down, who will be there to help her find the pieces of her life?


I own nothing but the plot!

A Troubled Minerva

Minerva McGonagall, head of Gryffindor House and Transfiguration Mistress, was sitting by the lake located on Hogwarts grounds. Her characteristic bun had escaped its strict confines and strands of her raven hair were whipping in the strong wind. Knees against her chest and her arms wrapped around them, she stared at the ripples of the vast lake. Like her, the lake was unsettled, troubled. And like her, after a few minutes of churning waters, the lake would adjust to the disruption and would appear flawless once again. She only hoped her turmoil wouldn't last too much longer.

It had been nearly 5 years when her troubles had begun and she had been unable to deal with it. She had buried her pain, her burdens, for years; however, now she was unable to do so. She couldn't hide her emotions any longer, she couldn't deny the turmoil within any longer nor did she want to. She was tired of hiding her true self beneath the strict witch she portrayed to the rest of the Magical Community. She was tired of being seen as emotionless and heartless; however, that is what she allowed herself to become. She allowed her passion to suffocate beneath her aching heart and she had no one to blame but herself.

Minerva was once a passionate, caring woman but her temper and stubbornness had changed her into what she was today. Her Scottish temper had driven her to push away the only man she had loved and her stubbornness had ensured her distance for him. He had been younger than her, a student of hers actually, and she had been disgusted with her actions, her weakness. A teacher who held professionalism above all else somehow managed to allow a relationship with her student to blossom. After nearly seven months in a steamy, passionate romance, Minerva ended the relationship and hid inside of the newly constructed walls around her heart. At the time, she had convinced herself that it was the right thing to do; however, now it didn't seem right.

Sighing, she tilted her head up towards the darken sky and allowed the cold rain to wash over her, hopefully wash away her guilt. In the predawn morning, the gray sky and lack of light provided Minerva with the cover she needed to cry the tears she had kept at bay for so long. Teardrops filled her emerald eyes and spilled over her sunken cheeks to mingle with the raindrops that were thoroughly soaking her. A simple flick of her wand could have shielded her from the storm but she refrained from doing so. She wanted to feel the rain peppering down on her washing her tears away, she just wanted to feel something besides the emptiness that had taken root in her heart.

"What are you doing woman," boomed a familiar voice, a voice tinged with concern.

Minerva didn't bother to turn towards the man demanding an answer from her; she was unable to offer him a truthful answer anyways. Instead she shifted her focus to the lake and watched as the rain disturbed its surface. "Let me be," she said in a feeble voice, unwilling to share her pain with anyone else, lest of all him.

Severus Snape growled in frustration before briskly making his way to Minerva. He swept her up in his muscular arms and headed towards Hogwarts Castle, leaving the darkening skies and storm behind. Minerva did not bother to protest, she knew it would be pointless. She laid her head against his oddly comforting shoulder, gave into her weariness and dosed off to sleep. "Sleep well my love," Severus whispered before changing his destination from the Hospital Wing to the Dungeon.

Minerva raised her arms above her head and arched her back, stretching her aching muscles. She paused in mid-stretch as her sensitive nose caught a whiff of something foreign within her chambers. Cautiously her eyes opened, observed her surroundings and widened her green eyes in surprise at her location. She was not in her chambers as she expected to be but in Severus Snape's bedchambers. She groaned as memories of her time by the lake came crashing around her.

"So you finally decided to join the world of the living," Severus harshly teased as he took in her appearance. It was obvious she was well rested; however, her fragile state was easy to see to those who knew her well. "You must be famished," he added briskly as he set a tray of fruits and cheeses in front of her.

Minerva glared at him momentarily before her stomach rumbled with hunger and she reluctantly picked up a strawberry. She plopped the berry in her mouth and closed her eyes in appreciation. She quickly ate her fill of fruits and cheeses before asking in an uncharacteristically timid voice, "Why did you bring me here instead of the hospital wing?"

"I know you despise the hospital wing," he answered then harshly asked, "What did you think you were doing last night?"

"That is no concern of yours," she lashed out as her eyes hardened and she stood up. It was then she realized her thick robes she had on the previous night were folded and laying on the chair in the far corner of the room. She quickly looked down to find herself wearing baggy tartan pajama pants and a low-cut black tank top. "You changed my clothes?"

"Yes," he answered simply before picking up a gift box then after studying it for a few seconds, he tossed the box on the bed and walked out of the bedroom closing the door behind him.

Minerva's cat-like curiosity got the best of her and she picked the gift box up. She slowly opened the box and found an old envelope addressed to her. With nimble hands, she opened the envelope and carefully read the letter. Tears spilled down her face as she read the words he had wrote nearly five years ago, words proclaiming his undying love and his desire to have her in his life forever. Words explaining that he had found the pajama set in a muggle shop and had immediately thought of her wearing them. Written words that expressed his desire to marry her and start a family, words that stole her breath and made her ice cold heart melt.

With the letter clinched in her hands, she quickly made her way out of the bedroom and to Severus. She found him in his parlor, sitting in a chair near the fire nursing a stiff drink. She took a few minutes to observe her love and how the last five years had aged him far beyond his years. "You kept one of my birthday gifts for the last five years?" she asked unbelievingly.

He meet her gaze before he admitted, "Yes and the other four as well." With a flick of his wand, four more boxes floated to a shocked Minerva. "Go ahead and open them," he urged as he watched her.

A musical box that played Celtic music, a landscape of the Highlands, a Gaelic inscribed broach, and a tartan coat and hat later, Minerva slowly made her way to Severus. She offered him a small smile before straddling his lap and tenderly kissing his cheek. Severus stiffened at her close proximity which caused Minerva to sigh in frustration. "I have been grieving for you and last night my emotions got the best of me," she explained then placed a hand over his mouth when he started to argue. "It's true Severus. I have been grieving for you ever since our relationship ended."

"You chose to end it," he yelled as he glared daggers at her.

"I only did it because you wanted children and I cannot give you any," she yelled back then quickly clamped her hand over her mouth as if she was ashamed of what she said.

"What," he asked dumbfounded.

"I am barren and have been since my sixth year," she confessed then closed her eyes to avoid his gaze.

"You silly woman," Severus said then lovingly caressed her jawbone with the palm of his hand. "I do not want children unless you are their mother. Minerva, there are plenty of children in this world that need love and we can offer a home to as many as you like."

Her eyes widened as she gazed at her love in wonderment. "You still want me," she asked in an awed tone, still unable to believe he wanted her so desperately.

"Always," he reassured then wrapped his arms around her small waist and crashed his lips into hers. "I love you Minerva," he breathed once the kiss ended.

Minerva did not feel the need to respond to Severus' statement, she knew that he knew exactly how she felt and would understand her lack of words. She shifted closer to him still and kissed him hard, demanding. He managed to stand up from the couch with her in his arms and still maintaining their oral connection. "If you have any objections now would be an appropriate time to mention them," he said seriously after he ended the kiss.

"None come to mind," she said playfully then kissed him once again.

Severus carried her into his bedroom and kicked the door shut behind them. She wiggled out of his grip once they neared the bed and quickly began to remove his clothing. He chuckled at her eagerness to become intimate once again before drawing her in for another heated kiss. She moaned loudly as his hands roamed her clothed body, thoroughly distracting her from her previous mission of stripping him of his clothes. "Severus quit that," she said huskily, "how do you expect me to rid you of your clothes if you keep distracting me?"

He nibbled on the soft skin of her lovely throat before suggesting, "With magic."

"Brilliant," she said playfully and then with a flick of her hand, both of their clothes were removed.

His eyes widen in surprise before he voiced, "I did not realize you could do wandless magic."

"I try not to broadcast my abilities," she said seriously then added, "Albus is the only other person that knows."

"I shall not tell anyone of your abilities," he whispered near her ear then gently nibbled on her earlobe.

Minerva moaned, wrapped her arms around his neck and slowly started walking backwards the bed. She fell onto the bed when the back of her knees hit the edge of the bed and pulled Severus along with her. He landed on her, his face showed his shock at falling while the witch underneath him started to laugh. He rolled his eyes at her before planting wet kisses on jawbone and trailing them down her flawless body.

Severus' hands joined his mouth's exploration of Minerva's body causing her Celtic skin to flush pink. She moaned, sighed, and grasped at the sensations he was creating in her and she wanted more, immediately. Uncharacteristically, she pleaded, "I need you now."

Severus smirked, "Love I will give in this time." He gave her a breathy kiss then added, "But next time I expect to have my way with you."

"Very well," she panted as she spread her legs in invitation.

Severus settled himself between her legs and positioned his manhood at her entrance. Dark eyes met green eyes as he pinned her hands to the mattress with his and entered her slowly. She grasped at the feeling of him entering her and arched her back to take him deeper within her. He stopped movement when their hips met and they sighed in unison.

They shared a series of breathy kisses before continuing their love making. She slipped her hands from underneath his and felt the taunt muscles of his back and shoulder. Her fingers ran up and down his back and across his shoulders as she pressed open mouth kisses to his face and neck. Her nails started digging into the skin of his back as he increased his pace and they came closer to the brink of ecstasy.

Time passed for the two lovers, sweat dripped from their bodies but the lovers were not sated yet. Hands and mouths busied themselves with pleasing the other until matching cries echoed throughout the room when they had a shared climax. He collapsed onto her and she lovingly wrapped her arms around him, comforting him, tears falling from both their eyes. "I love you," she whispered after their labored breathing had calmed.

Severus looked his lover in the eye and offered her a genuine smile. He kissed her lips gently, loving, tender before attempting to move off of her. She held him firmly to her and begged, "Please stay with me lover."

He pressed a quick kiss to her nose before agreeing to her request. He wrapped his arms around her and rolled them over so she was lying on top of him, with his manhood still firmly within her. She smiled contently before laying her head on his chest and closing her eyes. She gasped as she felt something materialize on her left hand and quickly took a peek. Her eyes widened in shock as she saw a diamond and emerald engagement ring and looked to Severus for an explanation. He smirked before offering, "No need to delay our commitment anymore. I would like to marry you as soon as possible."

She grinned mischievously before asking, "Does that mean we can go to the orphanage tomorrow and search for our children?"

"Children," he sputtered, not quite ready for more than one child.

She nodded before answering, "At least eight," before nestling her head in the crook of his neck and dosing off to dreamland.

Severus lay awake watching Minerva sleep and thinking about their future and future children with a smile on his face that continually grew wider as he thought.


End file.
